Time to Stop Talking and Begin Helping the Tyrant
This issue of Tyrant Aficionado  is
not about Cuba. No sir. It is about dirty politics. It is not
about a place or a people. Is is about a tyrant we love. It is
about Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz.
It is true that, because of our dirty politics, we Leftist
Fascist-Americans have helped Castro to stay in power in Cuba
for forty long years while he was busy destroying the island
and its people. (But we don't need to do that anymore: now we
have Pastors for Peace!) There was a time when the embargo we
never enforced was enough to fool the stupids, but now, after
the end of the Cold War, it is not necessary any more.
But, as much as we love Castro, we still don't understand
Cubans. We don't understand the animosity of the Cuban-American
community toward President Fidel Castro. Fidel stole their properties,
kicked them our of the island, and has killed or sent to prison
many of their friends and relatives. And they apparently not
like Castro. That's is simply unbelievable. Castro is so charming.
He is so nice.
Even more strange is that their hostility is not aimed at
Castro's national-socialist ideology, but at real and complex
issues such as Castro and his cronies' seizure of their homes,
businesses and properties without compensation.
Also, we cannot understand the animosity of most Cubans still
in the island toward our beloved president Castro. They earn
misery salaries and are treated like slaves. They are sent to
jail and shot in the wall. Cuban women are forced to prostitute
themselves to survive. And still Cubans in Cuba don't love Castro
like we do. Very strange.
In fact, Cubans are strange indeed. No wonder they invented
the chá-chá-chá. (We have the bad feeling
that some day, perhaps very soon, those issues will be resolved
and the Cuban people will kick Castro's ass like our people did
to us, but we're not going to talk about this now!)
By the way, not only the Cubans in the United States are crazy.
The Cubans in Cuba are crazy too. What do you think about people
who earn Cuban pesos and can only buy products with dollars?
Isn't that stupid?
But that's not what this issue of Tyrant Aficionado
is about.
This issue is about one of the richest islands in the Caribbean,
now ranked below Haiti, thanks to Fidel Castro. This issue is
about a people exploited (that's one of the reasons why we love
Castro so much, we want to get
our part of the pie in exploiting the Cubans!) by its government,
and now by sonofabitches like us. This issue is about the Cuban
independent journalists, who live in fear of Castro's repression.
This issue is about the Cuban musicians, baseball players, scientists,
writers, physiscians, and taxi drivers who have abandoned the
island in drones. This issue is, for sure, about the Cuban tobacco
industry, which Castro brought close to ruin. This issue is,
above all, about the hypocrisy of the American left in cahoots
with the American right, in defending and protecting tyrants.
This issue is about businessmen doing business with Castro and
sharing with the tyrant the exploitation and slavery of the Cuban
people.
When President John F. Kennedy imposed the trade embargo in
1962, after his treachery during the Bay of Pigs and the Cuban
missile crisis, he knew that the embargo was going to strenghten
Castro in power in Cuba. We now see his dream fullfilled. As
Nazis-Americans we are proud of him. By the way, Kennedy's father
was our close friend and admirer.
During the times of dictator Batista, Cuba was the brothel
of the hemisphere. But the good Fidel Castro changed that quickly.
Now Cuba is the brothel of the world. We love Cuban jineteras
, because they have university degrees-- and big asses. Don't
forget that Havana cigars are the most common phallic symbols
of domination used by white old males like Castro and us.
The time has come for politicians in Washington and Havana
to listen to sonofabitches like us. The dialogue with Castro
must be started, or he will send everybody to jail. It can start
simply by opening the doors for usand keeping them
closed for the Cubans . . . just in case. We hope this issue
of Tyrant Aficionado can help lay the groundwork
for abnormal relations between Fidel Castro and sobs like us.
It would be fun, and probabl;y we'll make some millions on the
side while we enjoy a good time in bed with the jineteras
(and the jineteros , of course!).
This issue of Tyrant Aficionado is dedicated
to all people who, under the disguise of cigar aficionados, baseball
aficionados, Cuban music aficionados, and other types of misguiding
labels, are actually Fidel Castro aficionados. To those who love
the Cuban tyrant from the bottom of their hearts we dedicate
this issue.
Finally, we suggest that you read this issue of Tyrant
Aficionado while smoking a good Havana cigar (Hey! How
it is politically incorrect to smoke in the U.S. while you sobs
go and smoke in Cuba?) Enjoy your reading. Love the tyrant.
Benito and Adolf
Editors & Publishers
Tyrant Aficionado
|
Pastors for Peace,
or Gays for Castro. Also, this magazine has not received funds
from the Rockefeller Foundation, the Ford Foundation, the MacArthur
Foundation, Arca Foundation, or any other foundation, left, center,
or right. Also, Tyrant Aficionado is not connected
with Newsweek , TIME, U.S. News and World Report
, Forbes , Penthouse , Playboy , Hustler
, or Mother Jones magazines. Nor we have any ties to the
New York Times, the Miami Herald , the Washington
Post , the San Francisco Chronicle , the Los Angeles
Times , or the Orlando Sentinel newspapers.